


the song i sing, the secret that i keep

by znake



Series: you wouldn't believe [4]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Crew as Family, F/M, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Pre-Time Skip, Usopp-centric (One Piece), usopp/kaya centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:48:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27877113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/znake/pseuds/znake
Summary: Usopp writes letters back home, hoping to one day become a man worthy of the woman he loves. And maybe, along the way, he can help others as they have helped him.
Relationships: Kaya/Usopp (One Piece), Mugiwara Kaizoku | Strawhat Pirates & Usopp, Nami/Nefertari Vivi
Series: you wouldn't believe [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1885597
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	1. you're the sunset, you're the morning

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Cut & Run by Civilian. Spotify wrapped told me i was in their top 10 listeners can I get more of you to go listen to their music so that I feel less insane

_Dear Usopp,_

_I hope this letter finds you well. It’s been two weeks now since you left. Today was a special day: Tamanegi’s birthday! We met at my house this morning and baked a cake, and managed to surprise him with it. I got him a new slingshot, like the one you use._

_We all miss you dearly,_

_Yours,_

_Kaya_

Kaya carefully puts down her pen on the desk, being careful not to smudge her letters. Hands steady, she blows on the ink to dry it, before folding the letter and placing it in a lavender envelope. She heats the wax over her candle, and seals the envelope with a stamp.

On the front, she writes ‘ _Usopp_ ’ in gold.

She stands and walks to the window, where the sun’s last rays are shining through into her room. She looks at the tree Usopp used to climb when he visited her, a smile creeping on her mouth. She lifts her hand to shade her eyes, and watches the slow descent of the crimson sun below the far reaches of the horizon.

As the stars begin to shine through the fading light, she lets a single sigh escape her lips.

She turns away and walks back to her desk, picking up the envelope. Another day, another letter. She removes a key from a chain around her neck, and uses it to open her desk’s drawer. In it, she sees the stack of unsent letters - all in the same envelopes, all with the same name written on the front.

And as she adds another letter to the pile, she wonders just when she’ll be able to talk to him again.

\--

“Oi, Usopp, come help me get groceries!” Sanji’s voice echoes across the deck of the Merry.

Usopp looks up from where he’s been fixing the mast, hammering another plank to it for stability. “I’ll be over in a second!” He yells, or at least tries to, mouth full of nails.

He hears the telltale sounds of Sanji flipping over the side of the ship, his whistling echoing on the empty beach. He spits out one last nail, hammers it in, and wipes his brow. “That should do it,” he mutters to himself. With that, he puts away his tools and runs to join the cook on the beach.

Sanji is just lighting another cigarette as Usopp lands on the beach. “You’re going to die if you keep smoking those, you know.” The blond just rolls his eye in response. Usopp assumes he’s rolling both of them, but you never know, he might not even have a second eye.

Sanji nods his head towards the town, a silent indication that they should head off. Usopp struggles to keep up with his long strides, as he heads off without so much as looking back. So Usopp sucks it up and half-jogs to catch up, and they head into town together.

The town - more of a city, actually - is larger and taller than anywhere Usopp has been before. He’s distracted by the sheer size for a moment, before realising Sanji has no shame in leaving him behind, so he snaps himself out of it and follows him, weaving and darting through the crowds.

The duo find themselves in an open air market, and Usopp can see the cogs in Sanji’s head turning. The cook starts muttering to himself, something about recipes and ingredients, but it’s mostly unintelligible. Usopp knows his role is to hold groceries more than anything else, so as Sanji barters with a merchant, he begins to write a letter in his mind.

 _My dearest Kaya_ \- No, that was too strong of a start. _Dear Kaya_ was more appropriate. _Dear Kaya, today we landed on an island called Rochs_ . Sanji hands him a bag of vegetables, which he grabs. _Dear Kaya, you wouldn’t believe how big this city is. The buildings are the size of three Merrys on top of each other!_ Sanji hands him another bag, this time with milk and eggs. _Dear Kaya, I think our chef is making omelettes for breakfast for the next few days._

“...Still need spices… cayenne… chilli…” Sanji mutters to himself. Usopp taps him on the shoulder. “Follow me, I saw the spice stall earlier.” Sanji smiles gratefully, and the two of them weave back through the crowd, Usopp following his memory of where he’d seen the piles of coloured powders. 

They make it to the stall eventually, after being blocked for a minute by a procession of carts and animals, all piled high with miscellaneous piles of furniture and what Usopp had to assume was art. The spice stall was where he’d remembered seeing it, and he sighs in relief at his memory not making a fool of him.

“Thanks, Usopp!” Sanji says, pushing around one last passerby to stand side by side with him. “Would have taken a lot longer to get here without you.” 

“You’re welcome. By the way, what spices are you looking for? I happen to know a thing or two about them myself.”

With that, Sanji’s smile grows again, and he begins listing out all the different ones he’s looking for, cigarette dangling from his lips. How does he even keep it balanced with all the talking he does, Usopp wonders off-handedly. 

Together, they manage to purchase all the spices Sanji needs, and as Usopp is about to reach out to grab one of the bags, Sanji just shakes his head and keeps hold of them. “Only a few more things to get, I need you to have free hands for the rest of them, eh Usopp?” 

Usopp smiles back, realising that he’s being spared from a not inconsequential load. The two of them finish shopping, the final few bags split evenly between the two of them. And somewhere along the way, Usopp realises that Sanji has stopped muttering, switching to holding an actual conversation with him about spices and other observations of the town.

Walking back, conversation moving to the repairs he was doing on the ship, Usopp realises that he’s no longer to keep up with Sanji, the cook slowing down to match his strides to those of the sniper.

 _Dear Kaya_ , he thinks to himself, _today, I think I made a new friend_.

\--

The two of them unpack the groceries, only to be interrupted by Luffy running in and demanding a snack.

“Sanjiiiiiiiii- I’m hungry!” Their captain complained, his head resting on the kitchen table. “I want meat!” 

“Captain, I can’t- I gotta put this all away still-” 

“I’ll take care of that, Sanji. Can you make me a snack too?” Usopp adds, sheepishly, already grabbing the bags of canned goods.

“Oh- sure. Thanks Usopp.” There’s relief in his eyes, Usopp notes. If he had to guess, he was thankful for not having to make a decision between Luffy and his job. You got used to Luffy’s capricious nature, but it just took a bit of time. He was sure that he’d soon be using his kicks just to keep their captain away from their food stores.

As he walks into the pantry, he hears the door open again, and the telltale sound of Nami and Zoro bickering with each other.

“-How do I even owe you that much?!”

“Compound interest, Zoro. Maybe if you paid attention to your spending habits you wouldn’t end up here! Oh, Sanji, are you making snacks?”

“No way my debt tripled in three days, no matter how much interest you added- Ugh. Cook, booze.”

Sanji’s mixed screams of anger at the swordsman and adoration for their navigator fade slightly as the pantry door closes behind him. Usopp puts down the paper bags, and starts placing each can on the shelves, trying his best to follow Sanji’s organising methods. As he tries to figure out what they could possibly need 15 different kinds of beans for, he hears the pantry door swing open behind him again, letting in the sound of Sanji and Zoro arguing. The clicking of the footsteps lets Usopp know who it is immediately.

“Hey Nami,” he says, without turning around. “Can I help you find anything?”

“Ugh- no. I just needed a break. Can’t those two go five minutes without trying to rip each other’s throats out?”

They both laugh at that, the answer obvious.

She walks over and picks up one of the cans. “Fava beans, huh? Wonder what he’s going to make us with all this.” She places the can on the shelf, and the two of them continue to put them all away.

“Uh, Nami, about our debts, well, I was wondering just how much do I owe you?”

“5 million berries.”

There’s a small crash as he drops the can he was holding, mouth open in shock. He slowly turns to look at her, starting to mumble out whats and whys and _how_ , only to see the massive grin on her face.

She starts to giggle, which soon morphs into a laugh, and he realises she was pulling his leg. The relief sweeps over him like a wave, and he starts to laugh with her. He’s still giggling as he picks up the fallen can and checks it for any dents. 

“Don’t worry Usopp, you’re still in the green.” She says, wiping tears from her eyes, smile still on her face. “I only told Zoro that because he was getting on my nerves. He keeps asking for extra money for alcohol, and I’m sick of it. I told him to just ask Sanji from now on, but I think that backfired.” She puts the last one away, and folds up the bags.

When they reenter the kitchen, the fighting seems done, Zoro placated by a bottle of wine Usopp didn’t remember seeing Sanji pick up. Luffy is now wrapped around Sanji, who’s trying to keep the sandwiches he made away from their captain’s gaping maw.

“Nami!! I made you a special snack!” 

The five of them sit down around the kitchen table, Luffy still being held back by Sanji as Nami (and Usopp) get to take first pick. Zoro eyes them as well, and as soon as the captain is released the two of them attack the platter, leaving nothing but crumbs on the plate.

And as they discuss how much longer they’d be staying on the island, and where they’d head to next, Usopp realises just how much he has to tell Kaya tonight. _Dear Kaya, everyday is an adventure unlike any other._

\--

He stays up a bit later than usual, writing his letters. To Kaya, he is honest and excited. To his crewmates, the Usopp pirates, he spins a tall tale of the Kraken he single handedly defeated with the help of his trusty slingshot and cannon. He has to stop, partway through, and use his pen knife to sharpen his pencil, making sure to throw the shavings away before anyone could comment on them. 

His handwriting is messy in the way a craftsman’s writing needs only be legible to those he works with. He’s self conscious about it, remembering the loops and swirls of Kaya’s letters, the way she writes capital letters in an entirely different way, and how her letters tie into each other.

He misses her, but the kind of man she deserves wouldn’t admit to that, so he tries not to think about it too much. And so, he signs his letter off, the same way he always does.

_Always and forever yours,_

_Usopp_

\--

The pile of letters has grown beyond what her drawer can hold, and she’s started keeping them in a chest next to her bed. They’re not just her letters, anymore, the kids have started handing her drawings and notes that they ask her to send to him.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.” She tells them, the lie hurting her every time.

It’s been a month now, and she still hasn’t received any notice from him. At the very least, he’s still alive, she knows, since none of his crewmates’ wanted posters have been recalled. A part of her is both thankful he doesn’t have his own, but also wishes he did, just so that she might have some news on how he’s doing.

But as she opens her window, greeted by the fresh morning air, she hears her doorbell ring. 

“That’s odd,” she mutters to herself. Most of the villagers knew they could come in around the back, that her house was always open.

She makes her way down the stairs, and walks to the front door. Opening it, she’s greeted by a stranger, a burly man who smells of sweat and the sea. His eyebrows are scrunched, an angry look on his face.

“Miss Kaya?” he asks, his voice gruff and obviously not used to such formalities.

“That’s me,” she replies, unsure what’s happening. “Can I… help you?”

His face lights up instantly. “Ach, good. I didn’t know what I’d ‘ave done if it ‘adn’t been you. I got a package ‘ere for you. From Usopp.” And that’s when she notices the large box he’s holding, looking to be the size of her torso.

“Oh- I- Thank you. Could I, uhm, invite you in for some tea?”

“I’d like that a lot, miss.”

She leads him inside, to her kitchen, where she tells him he can put the box down. As she’s making tea, she can’t help herself but let the questions fall out of her mouth.

“You know Usopp? Where did you meet him? Is he- is he okay?”

The sailor chortles. “Aye, I know Usopp. I met his crew a week ago now, on an island called Deecing. Nice lad. All five of ‘em seemed healthy.”

“Five?” she poses, putting the cup down in front of him. “When he left, there were only four.”

He nods. “Well, they’ve added since. There’s the captain who stretches, that green swordsman, the redhead navigator, a blond cook, and your Usopp.”

The cook must have been the next addition, she supposes. Makes sense that after getting a ship, they’d want someone that could cook.

“I don’t suppose you could tell me how you met, could you?”

The sailor laughs again, strong voice echoing through her house as he clutches the teacup in his comically large hands. He begins telling her a story of intrigue, drama, of rebellion and betrayal. His crew had been arrested by the local authorities on the grounds of being pirates, despite them being regular sailors tasked with delivering goods from one island to the next. The Strawhats had been locked up in the same jail, and together they’d broken out and revealed the truth of the corrupt government to the locals.

She hung on his every word, as he recounted how the pirate crew had fought back waves of Marines, and she felt pride swell in her chest as she realised just how _brave_ Usopp had been.

It was mid afternoon by the time he finished recounting the story, and she’d refilled their cups more times then she could count. Their crew was here as a favour to the Strawhats, since they had jobs nearby and could easily deliver a package. 

As she escorts him to the door, words of gratitude pouring out her lips, she can’t help but ask the question that’s been eating her up ever since she said goodbye, a month ago.

“Is he… Is Usopp happy?”

The sailor (his name now known to her as being Bethem), looks down at her, his eyes filled with what she recognises as sadness.

“That he is, miss. That he is.”

\--

They’ve acquired a new crewmate, a _princess_ , named Vivi. Sanji’s been fawning over her since the first moment, but Usopp knows her heart will never belong to him. Honestly, he’s not sure if that’s what Sanji even wants. For all the fawning he does, he never seems quite serious about pursuing relationships.

He sees the way Vivi looks at Nami, the way she shies away from eye contact, how she tangles her fingers in their navigator’s hair while she braids it in the mornings. He recognises all the tell tale signs of a fruitless love.

 _Dear Kaya, how would you help her? You always know what to do and what to say. I feel like I’m never good enough._

But that’s not entirely true anymore. They’d made it into the Grand Line, survived attacks by both enemy pirates and Marines, and he felt stronger than ever. So he sucks up all the courage he can find, and walks over to where she’s reading a book on the beach.

“Excuse me, uh, princess?” His voice cracks on the last word, he’s not comfortable with such formalities.

“You can just call me Vivi, Usopp. I’m not a princess right now, anyway.” She’s smiling, but he can tell she doesn’t fully mean it. 

“Oh, sure. Is it alright if I sit here?” He asks, gesturing to the seat next to her. Nami had been sitting there earlier, but had ran off chasing after Luffy, after he’d ran into the jungle, taking her bag with him.

Vivi nods, and he sits down, pulling out his book. He’s reading a book about ship making, trying to figure out how to fix all the holes that keep popping up. Her book, from what he can tell, is some sort of romance novel. He tries to ask, but doesn’t find the words, so instead they both sit there, the only sound coming from the flipping of pages. 

The silence is the only reason he notices the soft sobs coming from Vivi, almost too quiet to be heard. He looks up, and sees that there are indeed tears in her eyes, still intently focused on the pages of her book. When she goes to wipe them away, she notices him staring, worry evident in his face.

She quickly sniffs up the remainder of her tears, and folds and puts her handkerchief away. 

“Are you alright?” He asks, tentatively.

She nods, and puts her book down, carefully marking her page with a braid of orange threads. “I’m sorry. I simply got a bit too invested, I think.”

He nods. He’s been there before, he remembers how Kaya used to read him books, her voice low, as he sat on the tree branch outside her window. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She hesitates, before nodding. “This book is about a couple whose lives are torn about by a war. They get separated, but they each write the other letters, even though neither can send them.” Usopp starts, the story hitting a bit too close to home. “However, she gets attacked, and her letters all get burnt. He continues writing her letters, having no idea what has happened, and it simply… It made me emotional, I suppose.”

He can’t do much else but nod, the words he wanted to say catching in his throat. She misunderstands his silence, and nervously waves her hands around. “I- I know it’s not much. I don’t even know why it affected me so much-”

“No, no, don’t apologise, I understand completely.” He waves his hands as well, the two of them awkwardly waving at each other, before they both break out laughing. Vivi laughs while covering her mouth, he notes.

After the awkwardness has disappeared, he realises he’s mustered up the bravery to tell her what he wanted to say.

“Vivi, this may sound overbearing, and I’m really sorry if you take it this way, but I, ah, I don’t want you to end up with… Well, with regrets.” His book is shut now, corners bent in a half dozen locations to keep track of different ship facts he needed to know. “I don’t think any of us have told you fully where we’re from or how we got here, but… I thought it might be nice if you knew. About me, at least. I think it would be best if you heard from the others for the rest.” And he tells her the story of Syrup Village, of the Usopp Pirates, and of Kaya.

He tells the story with only a few embellishments - it doesn’t feel right to lie when he’s trying to form a connection with her. But in a way, the half truths are as much a part of his story as anything else, he muses.

As he finishes, ending right before they arrive at the Baratie, he notices her sniffling again, handkerchief out once more. 

“I’m so sorry, Usopp. I didn’t realise just how- I wouldn’t have mentioned my book had I known.”

He leans over to pat her on the back. She reminds him of Kaya, in her mannerisms and motivations. But there’s a part of him that sees himself in her too, in her inability to speak honestly about her feelings. “I didn’t tell you to have you pity me, but I guess I appreciate the sentiment. I just wanted- I wanted to warn you, I guess, before you end up in a wishy-washy position like me.”

She looks up, startled, but before she can say anything, the cries of their other crewmates resound through the jungle. He just smiles at her, and the two of them run into the jungle to help their friends.

_Dear Kaya, today I talked to a princess. She was very nice and not very princess-y, but she did have an embroidered handkerchief. She makes me think about you. I miss you._

\--

Nami is sick, she’s feverous and shaking, and his hodgepodge knowledge of secondhand medicine learned from listening to Kaya read books out loud isn’t enough anymore. They reach an island, somehow, covered in snow, and they _need_ a doctor.

But it’s not that easy, it never is. Their doctor in question ends up coming in the form of a small reindeer, named Chopper. And looking into his eyes, Usopp is reminded of the kids from back home, the way he looks at the crew with awe and adoration in his eyes. There’s something nostalgic about the way he listens to his tall tales, eyes wide and fully hanging off every word. Between him and Luffy, it feels like he’s gained some new younger brothers.

If Chopper is hanging off his words, Luffy has taken to hanging off of him literally. Drum Island is cold, they all feel it, and their captain has chosen Usopp as his human heater. The others, realising they were all free of babysitting duty, had run off to do their own various things. Zoro was training under a waterfall (he still hadn’t learned), Sanji was flirting with women and learning how to cook from them (big hit in the mom community), Nami and Vivi had run off together (if they’d been holding hands, Usopp pointedly ignored it).

So the three of them sat together, drinking cocoa and chatting. Chopper was an absolute fount of knowledge, gained from reading and watching his grandparents work for years. 

“You know, Chopper,” Luffy says, poking his head out from where he was hiding in his coat, “Usopp’s girlfriend is a doctor too!”

Chopper’s eyes lit up, and he starts barraging Usopp with questions. He’s still reeling from Luffy calling Kaya his- his _girlfriend_ , to the point that he struggles to remember a single thing Chopper just asked him.

“Luffy- first of all, she’s not my, she’s not my girlfriend. She’s just a friend who happens to be a girl. Like Nami, or Vivi. And second, she’s only studying to be a doctor. She’s not licensed or anything yet.” Luffy’s head disappears back into his coat for a second, before reemerging. His eyes are shut, the way Usopp knows he does when he’s thinking hard.

“Are you sure? Because you like her. And she likes you. Doesn’t that mean you’re dating?” Luffy’s honest, childlike nature makes Usopp’s heart ache. If only it was that easy, if only it was that straightforward. He thinks for a moment, before answering back, brutally honest in a way only Luffy could make him be.

“Sometimes, growing up means you don’t burden other people with your own feelings. It’s not fun, but that’s just how it is.” 

The mood immediately darkens, so he quickly waves his hands. “But enough about that- Chopper, let me tell you about the time I, the fearless Usopp, single handedly defeated a Sea King the size of this ISLAND!” He breaks into a story, and sees the telltale shine of the two kids’ eyes.

 _Dear Kaya_ , starts to play in the back of his mind.

_Dear Kaya, Dear Kaya, Dear Kaya, I love you, I love you, I love you._

_Dear Kaya, I’ll love you till the day I die._

_Dear Kaya,_

_Do you still love me?_


	2. you're the time i kill between them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> parting and grief are two of the inevitabilities of life, and you will always keep them in your heart.

Zoro scratches his head with the back of his pencil. He has no idea how Usopp does it, writing letters every single day. Since leaving home, the most he’s written was his own name a handful of times. 

The page in front of him is full of black lines from where he’s crossed out all but two words, the page itself crumpled under the force with which he wrote. His pencil even broke, and he had to ask Usopp to sharpen it again. He was strong now, sure, but that made him all the more worried when it came to the small things that mattered. Sharpening his swords, something that once brought him peace and serenity, was quickly becoming a source of stress. He’s no longer sure of his own strength, and it scares him.

He looks down again, trying to come up with the words he wants to say, but his mind feels like it’s both bursting at the seams and more quiet than the ocean at night.

_ Dear Kuina,  _ he reads.  _ Dear Kuina,  _ his heart says, is where he should start.

\--

A day passes without him making progress. He manages to skimp out on dishwashing duty after dinner, asking Nami to take over for him at the cost of a new zero on his debt. So he searches the ship for Usopp, and finds him where he usually does, mixing various spices together to create new, noxious concoctions.

“Oi, Usopp.”

The sniper looks up, his goggles still on his eyes, bandana covering his mouth. He responds, but it’s too muffled for Zoro to understand.

“I can’t understand you. Take the mask off.”

Usopp quickly puts his tools down and clears his face of the mask and goggles, and Zoro can tell he’s been working for a while, judging by the lines around his eyes.

“What’s up, Zoro? Can I help you?”

Zoro says nothing and falls onto the ground across from Usopp, rummaging through his pocket. He pulls out the crumpled paper and pencil, and drops them onto the table.

The other boy, not quite sure what’s happening, quickly puts his various tools away, clearing some space for Zoro.

“What’s that? You writing? I can leave if you need the space-”

Zoro just grunts and shakes his head. If he’d known asking for help would be this hard, he wouldn’t have even bothered. “No. I mean yes. I need help. I mean- Ugh.” He runs a hand through his hair, and just pushes the note towards Usopp. 

The sniper, still having no idea what’s going on, picks the paper up like it’s something of uncountable value (it isn’t. It’s just the result of hours of failure.), and smooths it out, eyes scanning over it.

“Zoro, this is- this is a letter, isn’t it?”

Zoro just groans and pushes his face into his hands. It was barely paper anymore, let alone a letter. It looked like a madman’s dying words.

Usopp coughs nervously. “Did you, uh, need help with writing a letter?”

He nods, face still in his hands. “I don’t know how you  _ do _ it. Writing so much. I can’t even- get a single damn line.” He groans again, face falling into the crook of his arm.

Usopp doesn’t say anything, but he hears him rummaging through something. When he eventually props his head back up, he sees that he’s taken out a few new sheets of paper, and an envelope.

Usopp runs his finger under his nose, a tick Zoro knew well. “Do you need, like, pointers? Or do you want me to-” he gestures vaguely with one hand, “-you know?”

Zoro finally lifts his head up from his arms, and lets out a sigh. “I can write, Usopp. I just don’t know  _ what _ to write. I know you write letters to your Kaya every day. I just wanna write one letter and I can’t even do that.” He hasn’t felt like this since that day with Mihawk, this sense of defeat, except that his opponent isn’t even  _ real _ . (It’s pathetic. He feels  _ pathetic _ .)

Usopp listens to his confession, and seems to think for a moment, eyes shut and head tilted up, before he starts talking again, face still contorted as if this is the hardest challenge he’s been presented.

“Hmm… Usually I just… talk about my day, I guess?” He turns his head, and Zoro swears he can hear cogs turning. “I guess- if nothing happened, I’ll just talk about what we ate or what book I’m reading. Most of my letters are pretty short, actually.” He opens his eyes, and looks at Zoro. “Does that… help at all?”

Zoro just shrugs and reaches for the paper and pencil. “Can you, uh, stay here? While I write it?”

Usopp nods, and reaches into his toolkit for his pencil. “If it doesn’t bother you, I’m gonna write too.”

Zoro feels relieved, somehow. And so he clenches his pencil in his fist, and begins to write again.

_ Dear Kuina _ , he scribbles. And he stops again.

“So I just… talk about what I did today?”

Usopp nods. Zoro peeks at his paper, and sees that he’s writing about the fried rice they had for dinner.

_ Today, the shitty cook made fried rice. It was good. _ He adds, after thinking about it for a second.  _ It reminded me of what we used to eat back home. _ And suddenly, the words start coming to him a bit more easily.

_ Dear Kuina _ , it reads,

_ Today, the shitty cook made fried rice. It was good. It reminded me of what we used to eat back home. I think the witch scammed me out of cash again. I let our captain steal my snack, because I wasn’t too hungry. Vivi taught me how to braid thread. She made me a bracelet. Usopp helped me write this letter. We have a new kid. His name is Chopper. He’s a reindeer. He’s still just a kid though. He worried over all my scars. He said I shouldn’t have survived half the shit I’ve been through. _

And he halts again, fighting against where his heart is telling him to go.

“Just go for it,” Usopp murmurs without looking up, “Don’t stop. It’s not worth it.”

He hesitates for a moment longer, before deciding to follow the boy’s advice.

_ I miss you. I think about you whenever I use your sword, whenever I fight. It feels like I left home a lifetime ago, but I still see you every night in my dreams. _

_ I swear I’ll become the strongest. _

_ I love you. _

_ Zoro. _

And as he signs off, he feels like a weight has been lifted from his chest, as he looks down at the words he’s been so afraid of saying.

Usopp is looking at him, his letter done and already placed in a brown envelope. “You feel better?” 

Zoro just nods.

Usopp smiles, and he recognises it as a smile of consolement. Strangely enough, it doesn’t feel ill-intended, rather, it feels reassuring. (Usopp had a way of reassuring people, of telling them they were more than enough. Maybe one day he’d realise that he, too, is enough.)

Usopp hands him a pale green envelope, and all Zoro can say as he folds his letter and places it inside is a simple “Thank you.” (He writes Kuina’s name on the front, without any address. Usopp doesn’t comment on it, which he’s thankful for.)

\--

Kaya wears a chain of silver around her neck, now. The package had included twice as many letters as there were days between the two of them parting ways, back when he’d handed the box over. She gave the boys their letters, and together they spread the news of Usopp’s adventures to the town.

“How grown up he is,” they all said. “He seems to have changed so much since leaving,” they added. “Aren’t you happy for him, Kaya?”

And she’s happy, but everytime her hair catches in her chain, she remembers the difference between her letters and the rest.

_ I defeated an evil tyrant! _ Read his letters to the town.  _ I, the captain, entered one-on-one combat with him and took him down with only my wits and trusty slingshot! _

_ We had katsudon for lunch today,  _ read his letters to her. More intimate, focused on the reality of day to day life on a ship. She thinks of the way he introduced their newest member, Sanji, as  _ a tall blond man who smokes and kicks a lot _ , and then how, a few days later he wrote about how  _ I washed the dishes with Sanji today, and he taught me a song from his home _ . 

There’s a locket, hanging off the chain. They’d come separately, both wrapped carefully in paper and ribbon.  _ I saw this and thought of you, _ read the note that came with the chain.  _ I hope this reminds you of me _ , said the note attached to the locket.

She opens it now, carefully, to look at the inscriptions hidden inside. 

On one side, Usopp’s name, carefully carved in a clumsy way that leaves no doubt in her mind that he did it himself. On the other, more professionally carved, a flower she recognises as a jonquil. 

She looks down at the book in front of her, taken from her house’s bookshelves.

_ Jonquils,  _ it reads,  _ also known as marigolds, represent unrequited love and desire, and the act of waiting. _

She closes the book, and slowly stands up to put it away.

Unrequited love, she laughs to herself, was far from what they had between them.

Mutually unrequited love was so,  _ so _ much more painful.

\--

Time seems to pass in a haze, after leaving Drum Island. Usopp isn’t sure why, but he feels that they’re racing towards the end of… whatever this is. So he tries to take it slow, absorbing each moment as it comes and goes.

He watches how Nami and Vivi giggle together, hands reaching for each other as soon as Sanji turns around to yell at Zoro, how Chopper always seems to fall asleep on the swordsman’s lap, how Luffy has been staring out into the sea more than usual.

And as the sun is setting, he approaches his captain, seated on the head of Kaya’s ship, eyes wide and watching intently the horizon, as if he could see through the curvature of the earth into whatever lay ahead.

Usopp doesn’t have anything to say, but he enjoys the silence beside Luffy as the both of them watch the last of the rays of sun fall below the ocean.

It’s Luffy that breaks the silence, the stillness that has fallen over the ship.

“D’you think Vivi’s gonna be happy?”

The unsaid words of  _ after she leaves us  _ are implicit to his question.

And Usopp doesn’t know, how could he? There’s no way any of them could see the future, no matter how hard they try. 

But he has to say something, and as the stars settle in the sky, moon full and looming, he opens his mouth to tell a single half truth.

“I think so. It’s her home after all. Her family is there.”

And Luffy nods, and neither of them mention the way Vivi sees the ship as her home too, the crew as her own flesh and blood.

It’s better this way, lying to themselves that she won’t be happy any other way.

\--

And just like that, Vivi parts ways with them, leaving a gaping hole in the spirit of the crew. Nico Robin slides into the space left behind, slotting in as if it had been made for her all along.

And he doesn’t trust her, how could he? 

“Sure, you can join!” Luffy states, a smile on his face.

And Usopp doesn’t understand his captain, he never will, but that’s alright. He sees the way Zoro stares at their newest member, and knows that at least one person is being reasonably suspicious.

But there’s an air of sadness about her, that he just can’t look past, and he decides that he can give her the benefit of doubt.

Grief recognises grief, after all, and those who have lost will always be drawn to each other.

\--

The princess left them letters, one for each of her friends- of the member of her family.

She recognises the gold ink on the front, the swirls of her name, the heart over the  _ i _ -

And she holds the letter and walks to her bunk, where she spent so many sleepless nights staring at her hair, her hands, her neck, eyes avoiding looking at anything she would not reach for in the day.

_ Dear Nami, _ the letter reads, and Nami has sworn to herself that she will not cry and she will not break down, but she reads those two words,  _ Dear Nami, Dear Nami, Dear Nami, _ and she feels her will begin to break.

_ I’ve grown to care for you in ways I didn’t think I would let myself. _ She reads, nails digging into the palm of her hand.  _ I never asked if you felt the same. _

_ I wish I had.  _

_ I suppose that no longer matters, however. By the time you read this, I’ll no longer be around, after all.  _

_ I’m sorry to burden you with these feelings but I wanted you to know, Nami, that I care about you, that I chose to care about you, that I had these feelings on purpose.  _

_ You deserve love, Nami. I wish I could be the person to give it all to you, but I know that’s not possible. There are so many people who love you, people I don’t know, and people you haven’t met yet. Our crew loves you. _

_ I’m sorry I can’t write the correct words, but I hope that when we meet again, you’ll give me another chance at saying them. _

_ I know this is selfish, but I hope you’ll accept them then. _

_ Forever yours, _

_ Vivi _

Nami doesn’t cry, she doesn’t let herself, she just holds the letter and stares at the stains and smudges of ink, the imperfections shining through what she knows to be the enth draft of the letter. 

And she thinks of the note she slipped into Vivi’s pocket, before they parted ways, scribbled on paper she grabbed off the side of the street with a pen stolen from a stranger. She wonders if the other girl has seen it yet, wonders if the weight in her chest is shared across the sea.

She hadn’t had the time to sign it, her gut telling her they would not see each other again, and that she needed to act fast. 

“We’re so stupid,” she whispers to herself, and she starts laughing, and laughing, and laughing, as she thinks over the content of her note and Vivi’s letter.

_ I love you _ , the note said.  _ I love you _ , she thinks, over and over and over, until the words become synonymous with Vivi’s name.

\--

The crew has no time to grieve, to take a moment to breathe, as they are thrown into another adventure, this time with islands that fly in the sky and islands that have sunk into the depths of the ocean.

It’s exhilarating, the island and people seeming to fight back equally against the pirates. 

As their time wraps up, the crew and villagers partying together, Usopp swears he sees Merry fixing herself. And that night, after no one believes him for what he saw, he writes one last letter from the island in the skies.

_ Dear Kaya,  _

_ We may be far apart, but it looks like your soul lives on in the wood of our ship. _

_ Always and forever yours, _

_ Usopp _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i genuinly made myself cry writing/rereading this chapter because I am THAT emotionally vulnerable. i'm working on chapter 3 but also decided i should reread water 7 for it soooo it could be a bit!

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on twitter @sodiepopgaming where i do not post anything like this usually but i am funny. as always shout out to gummy for proofreading. i got 2 chapters of this written so far this is mainly just incentive for me to finish this up before i actually drive myself insane. i got that covid time babey!


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